raw

I need to scrape
you from my heart
I am aching
and holding my
breath to
see where we are
and you are
with this "us"
that has so
tentatively
been invented
in a few short hours
and how could I
not know all
these years
how I felt
and why is it
now coming to
the surface
and I promised myself
I would no longer
sit and wonder
what a man was
doing when not
with me
and I don't think
I can do this
because I will
only get your crumbs
and I want it all
and dammit why
oh why did I have
to see love in your eyes?
love for me
and why did you touch
me so tenderly--
it has been too long--
and kiss me with
passion infused
with feelings
and actually care
about my heart
and dammit
why did I let you in?
when did my heart
decide it had a place
for you?
I can barely breathe
for fear that in
reaching for what we
want
we have lost it all
You know my
true self
and I can't just
put on my
armor with you
because you have
seen the naked truth

Kim White@2009